I bet men would be less lonely if they hugged each other once in a while and meant it.

I bet men would be less lonely if they hugged each other once in a while and meant it.

@alice this would be great and something I’ve tried to have in my current adult life.

But it’s also such a painful loop to be in because most dudes just don’t get hugged in a meaningful way in those formative years. So we don’t know how to spread the love later.

With my child I hug them all the time and I’m always telling them how much I love them.

I hope I can break the cycle.

I bet men would be less lonely if they hugged each other once in a while and meant it.

@alice Almost 20 years ago, I met a guy for the first time in real life after we had already talked online for a few years. The guy is built like Santa Claus. He picked me up like a toddler, hugged me and spun me around a couple of times. We're still close friends.

I've been to (and organized) events where people are generally relatively unafraid of touch and it's amazing. It's not unusual to see people of all genders getting cuddly cozy on a couch while talking or playing D&D.

I bet men would be less lonely if they hugged each other once in a while and meant it.

@StarkRG that explains so much.

@alice In my late teens I dated this guy for a short while, then we stayed friends. One day he told me that what he missed about dating was having regular physical contact with another human. His parents & older brother had stopped hugging him since he wasn't a young boy anymore, and his circle of friends was all male and of course they didn't hug each other. Dating, to him, had been an oasis of physical affection.
The conversation was eye-opening for both of us.

@StarkRG @alice we can't lick each other! The sweat from playing ruins the isotonic balance is of the sports drink.
It *HAS* to be the coach

@alice In my late teens I dated this guy for a short while, then we stayed friends. One day he told me that what he missed about dating was having regular physical contact with another human. His parents & older brother had stopped hugging him since he wasn't a young boy anymore, and his circle of friends was all male and of course they didn't hug each other. Dating, to him, had been an oasis of physical affection.
The conversation was eye-opening for both of us.

@alice In my late teens I dated this guy for a short while, then we stayed friends. One day he told me that what he missed about dating was having regular physical contact with another human. His parents & older brother had stopped hugging him since he wasn't a young boy anymore, and his circle of friends was all male and of course they didn't hug each other. Dating, to him, had been an oasis of physical affection.
The conversation was eye-opening for both of us.

@SapoconchaTradutora @alice
This is one of those classic "why men need feminism" monents.

@SapoconchaTradutora @alice yep, this is definitely a thing

@not_a_label @alice I know it is now, but for 18-year-old me it took some time to wrap my head around the concept. Especially when it came to the parents (who he still lived with!) and the brother: at that point, I hadn't even imagined that not hugging your closest family could be a thing.

I bet men would be less lonely if they hugged each other once in a while and meant it.

@alice And then make the coach sticky by pouring sports drink on him. Which, I can only assume, they proceed to lick off him once they get to the locker room. Normal man things.

@SapoconchaTradutora @alice I can imagine... my father was never a hugger, my younger brother still isn't - only my mother. But then I come from a generation where men just didn't do that sort of thing

@SapoconchaTradutora
I took that story as a reason to reflect the relationships to my current male friends and we all hug each other. Well, we also paint our fingernails for fun, maybe something went very right with us. I don't know. I do remember one meeting thou. I was tired, we were waiting for someone. I jawed and lean over to my coworker/work wife (that's how his and my wife called us), rest my head on his shoulder and said "Daniel... I'm tired." and he smiled and pat my shoulder. Then we both notice how the entire room was staring at us. And we were both like: "What? Can't I snuggle my wife or what?"
@alice

@Nuki yeah, feminism is for the men too. They need to break out of those toxic masculinity patterns as much as we need them to.

@SapoconchaTradutora

I bet men would be less lonely if they hugged each other once in a while and meant it.