Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
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@vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.
@alex02 @vkc you may, or may not, have a point about some people being hostile to Gen Z
I'm not the right person to comment on that because I've had no experience of it one way or the other but hijacking a thread about sexual harrasment for your own issues and being hostile when it's pointed out you are off topic is frankly, obnoxious in itself
Then there is the fact you come here complaining about "whiney bitches" on this thread of all things
Complete failure to read the room right there
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@StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.
If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.
@gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.
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Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?
@StingrayBadger @vkc Perhaps. Blocking just takes a bad actor and turns them towards their next target. Fighting occupies the bad actor and drowns them out.
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@moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc I had been tracking out what I considered to be sexually harassment or predatory behaviour happening on my fedi buddle recently, many times happening in a somewhat veiled manner.
My conclusion is that people actually protect each other, normalise those behaviours amongst communities. Some people's entire m.o. is to be thirsting over several (often cis) women in a community.
Even worst, in environments where people will discuss sexual content, the lines blur and discomfort becomes expected.
Am in solidarity with you and also hope people who are currently enabling this behaviour take action instead of leaving women to fight and treat these situations as isolated occurrences and not an aspect of the culture.
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@gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.
@NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc I was not telling that to / about you.
I was making the point that what it needs to change is the men all across the board, and make that fight a natural reflex in any environment, so that it doesn't require a hashtag with notifications for a bunch of select miniroty, but just some, **any** decent human being walking by.
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@NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc I was not telling that to / about you.
I was making the point that what it needs to change is the men all across the board, and make that fight a natural reflex in any environment, so that it doesn't require a hashtag with notifications for a bunch of select miniroty, but just some, **any** decent human being walking by.
You replied to me and at point you just seem to be preaching to the choir, captioning the obvious, or something else. You seem to mean well but come off odd so I’ll wish you well and go on my way. Peace.
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You replied to me and at point you just seem to be preaching to the choir, captioning the obvious, or something else. You seem to mean well but come off odd so I’ll wish you well and go on my way. Peace.
@NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc it was more to stingray's, but whatever. Peace.
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@alex02 @vkc
Alex, with all compassion, you're being an idiot here. I'm not saying that you don't have a valid point, but frfr don't thread-jack someone else's post to make it about yourself. And as a dude, really truly don't thread-jack discussions about bad men behaving badly to be about yourself; there is no scenario where you come out of that looking like anything other than a bad man behaving badly. -
@vkc holy shit, why do assholes feel the need to come out of the swamp! so sorry you (and everyone else) have had to undure that kind of crap
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@vkc okay, how to take responsibility for fedi culture. Hmm. Sure can look for it and push back, if I happen to see it at the right time, but that seems minimal.
I wonder if anyone has tried setting up a honeypot for sexual harassment? -
@vkc sorry you have to deal with that shit. Dudes need to be better. You shouldn't have to put up with the extra BS just because you're a woman on the internet.
If I see I will do my best to call it out. Too much happens in places I can't see which I think is one of the few flaws Masto has. Not sure how to fix that tho. But if I can help I will.
@Sablebadger @vkc every man can fight this. talk openly about being held accountable. hold each other accountable publicly and privately. build community actively intolerable to abuse. it's not a mystery.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc trying. I wish there was a way to flag this stuff so friends and allies could call it out and make it much more unpleasant for the perpetrators than for the victim. Consequences are needed!
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And keep in mind: some men will just be monsters. No amount of social pressure or calling out will work on them as they keep making those remarks
In those instances - ostracize them from your life, and warn others. Do not accept them as "quirky but harmless". Because it will escalate, and will draw in others. That will prompt "but he says it, and it's accepted so I should be able to say it as well"
> Silence now is implied endorsement later.
@Aprazeth @moondog548 @alice @vkc it's all men who need to make habits of it, not women.
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@vkc My crew is working on it. Culturally, we are training to call out and effectively moderate (banning, blocking, defederating) and figuring out 'financing' of who does it and hours required of manual moderation w/volunteers.
Structurally, there's common sexism/problem phrases that are just stupidly common, a pre-filter for all posts containing known BS, expanding on any emergent phrasing case-by-case
PSA channels with zero commenting for local civics also on the drawing board.
Thoughts?
@RandyHughesKing @vkc willing to do better collective actions in private and public. now
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@vkc men, do better.
Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.
Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.
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@vkc men, do better.
Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.
Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc Yikes, that definitely ain't right.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc Who did these things? I'll fight em too.
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@rebuscarla @vkc I didn't learn how to "do the patterns" whatever that means.
