When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
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Kyle was like bigfoot. Whenever we were supposed to get to meet him something would happen.
I really doubted he existed at all.
But I know someone who went to the wedding and laid a hand on Kyle. He's real.
@futurebird Isn't the "laying of hands" a form of spiritual identification? Is your friend now a member of the Church of Kyle?
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@futurebird but aren't like 40% of Canadian men named Kyle? How do we know it's the same one? Could be a dream made real.
@PizzaDemon @futurebird No, 70% are named Dave so the numbers wouldn't add up if 40% were Kyle.
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@futurebird gasp. Canadians are REAL??
They had better be. I'm counting on it.
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird
One of my teachers once told us he had a Canadian girlfriend. Then one day he told us he had a Canadian fiance, and now he lives in Canada with his Canadian wife.He got out in time. I just looked him up and he seems to be doing well for himself.
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird
The twist is that Kyle was real, but Cricket was a figment of your imagination. In fact, are you real? Am I real? Oh god, I'm coming down! -
I am not a Kyle truther.
@futurebird this smacks of Kyle-collusion. Kylusion.
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird @SRLevine This sounds like the book Canadian Boyfriend. It's a decent book.
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird
"Listen, before we get married, there's one thing you have to do for me.""Of course, name it."
"You need to legally change your name to Kyle and memorize this entire backstory."
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird As a Brit, the thing I’m most sceptical about is that someone might be called “Cricket”.
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird boyfriends from canada are real, I was one at some point
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird
Oh wow, this just reminded me of the film "Muriel's Wedding." Classic Toni Collette comedy, well worth a visit.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110598/ -
Kyle was like bigfoot. Whenever we were supposed to get to meet him something would happen.
I really doubted he existed at all.
But I know someone who went to the wedding and laid a hand on Kyle. He's real.
@futurebird Kyle is real; Canada is fake
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird LOL what
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird lol I did that myself
my boyfriend really did live a couple of hours away and he really did work ungodly hours
and sometimes he couldn't make it over for stuff, and vice versa
and we really did get married!
and all those other things are still true but he's like 4 years from retirement and vested in a good pension plan so we're just gonna keep commuting for now
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird I play hockey with Kyle all the time.
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird
…and now Cricket gets to move to Canada, so has the last laugh. -
Kyle was like bigfoot. Whenever we were supposed to get to meet him something would happen.
I really doubted he existed at all.
But I know someone who went to the wedding and laid a hand on Kyle. He's real.
@futurebird
Was there peyote at the event? -
@futurebird Kyle is real; Canada is fake
"The impossibility of Kyle (and Canada) in the mind of an American in 2026"
It's just a huge taxidermy hockey guy in a big metal and glass tank.
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@futurebird As a Brit, the thing I’m most sceptical about is that someone might be called “Cricket”.
@TheVoidTLMB @futurebird It's uncommon, but not unheard of as a name in the US. Crickets are viewed as cheerful creatures and sometimes considered good luck.
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@futurebird
Was there peyote at the event?... cannot 100 percent rule that one out
