@Novela

- @donni is a professional comedian.
- @the_etrain could be.

@afewbugs @TheBreadmonkey Ring a ring a roses being about the plague is something that I was taught in school so obviously it’s the one that’s not true. Everything I was taught in school has turned out to be basically “citation: some bloke in a pub, once”.

@afewbugs @TheBreadmonkey The good news is that ring a ring a roses being about the plague is Probably Bollocks. All the other stuff is true though.

School required that I buy my kid a pair of football boots, so I bought them some Adidas Predators because I wanted a pair 30 years ago.

Bizarrely, my child absolutely does not care how cool Adidas Predators were in the mid-90s.

Kid wanted an IKEA Blåhaj for their birthday and the quickest way was to order it “click and collect” to a Tesco.

However, this process *actually* involves an IKEA delivery driver parking his van in a quiet corner of the dark Tesco car park and giving you a call to say you have to be there in 20 minutes or he’s gone.

Fortunately the exchange passed off smoothly and the kid is now the proud owner of a full-size Blåhaj, and a briefcase full of Libyan plutonium.

One must imagine Sisyphus on his smoke break.

Boss makes a dollar, I uselessly roll a boulder up a hill every day for eternity: that’s why I shit on company time.

- Sisyphus