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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

    @byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).

    Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.

    @vkc

    byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
    byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
    byrnensorg@mastodon.ie
    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
    #76

    @alice @vkc There was some threads this week that could've benefitted from an angry dome.

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    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

      linuxandyarn@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
      linuxandyarn@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
      linuxandyarn@hachyderm.io
      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
      #77

      @vkc Hugs if you want them, a nod if you don't. Sorry you had to endure that bullshit again.

      1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

        steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
        steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
        steggy@sunny.garden
        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
        #78

        @vkc I will never understand why some people just love to be shitheads.

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        • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

          @semitones thanks for bringing that up 🩷 seems like a good time to boost that post again.

          @vkc

          steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
          steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
          steggy@sunny.garden
          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
          #79

          @alice @semitones @vkc I think that is the post I saw that made me want to follow you, Alice!

          1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

            gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
            gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
            gavinisdie@masto.ai
            schrieb zuletzt editiert von
            #80

            @vkc is it coming from the same server? If so, i'd make a #fediblock post

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            • regguy@mstdn.socialR regguy@mstdn.social

              @mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc

              mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
              mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
              mloxton@med-mastodon.com
              schrieb zuletzt editiert von
              #81

              @RegGuy
              At risk of flooding out Veronica's voice here (a real risk and also sexism), yeah, the overt "hey you b*tch" stuff is easy to spot.
              More difficult is the coded stuff. Using innocent words to highlight "feminine" vs "masculine" aspects
              Even more difficult is noticing undue focus, undue exclusion, and seemingly automatic assumptions that a woman should be more caring or gentle, or be the default peacemaker, etc.

              It takes a lot of work, persistence, and attention

              @bob @vkc

              bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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              • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

                @Aprazeth
                This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

                We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
                @alice @vkc

                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                alice@lgbtqia.space
                schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                #82

                @moondog548 as one of their peers, you can have a huge impact on toxic behavior in 3-5 simple words:

                "Dude, not cool."
                "What the fuck, man?"
                "Hey, that was fucked up."

                Pick whatever variation works best for your peer group, and snap back with it as soon as the bullshit leaves their mouth. Be upset and make it uncomfortable for a moment. Don't let them brush it off as a joke.

                @Aprazeth @vkc

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                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                  dj@parcero.casaD This user is from outside of this forum
                  dj@parcero.casaD This user is from outside of this forum
                  dj@parcero.casa
                  schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                  #83
                  @vkc
                  1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                  • alex02@elonsucks.orgA alex02@elonsucks.org

                    @vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.

                    gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                    gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                    gavinisdie@masto.ai
                    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                    #84

                    @alex02 @vkc what are you even on about 😭

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                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                      chiraag@mastodon.onlineC This user is from outside of this forum
                      chiraag@mastodon.onlineC This user is from outside of this forum
                      chiraag@mastodon.online
                      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                      #85

                      @vkc Goddammit. Men suck (as a man).

                      1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                      • moondog548@nerdculture.deM moondog548@nerdculture.de

                        @Aprazeth
                        This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

                        We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
                        @alice @vkc

                        aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                        aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                        aprazeth@mstdn.social
                        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                        #86

                        @moondog548 @alice @vkc

                        There are differing styles of communication and personalities to take into account, so don't necessarily use these as-is. Adapt to your situation/style/personality

                        Some examples to get started (for the edgy remark retorts)

                        - Not cool dude
                        - that's fucked up
                        - ask them to explain what they meant, make them explain their "edgy" stuff

                        But above all, be the better example. Support women, POC, LGBTQ, and *believe them* when they call out stuff

                        aprazeth@mstdn.socialA 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                        • aprazeth@mstdn.socialA aprazeth@mstdn.social

                          @moondog548 @alice @vkc

                          There are differing styles of communication and personalities to take into account, so don't necessarily use these as-is. Adapt to your situation/style/personality

                          Some examples to get started (for the edgy remark retorts)

                          - Not cool dude
                          - that's fucked up
                          - ask them to explain what they meant, make them explain their "edgy" stuff

                          But above all, be the better example. Support women, POC, LGBTQ, and *believe them* when they call out stuff

                          aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                          aprazeth@mstdn.socialA This user is from outside of this forum
                          aprazeth@mstdn.social
                          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                          #87

                          @moondog548 @alice @vkc

                          And keep in mind: some men will just be monsters. No amount of social pressure or calling out will work on them as they keep making those remarks

                          In those instances - ostracize them from your life, and warn others. Do not accept them as "quirky but harmless". Because it will escalate, and will draw in others. That will prompt "but he says it, and it's accepted so I should be able to say it as well"

                          > Silence now is implied endorsement later.

                          rebuscarla@organica.socialR 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                            pacavegano@friendica.odonian.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                            pacavegano@friendica.odonian.orgP This user is from outside of this forum
                            pacavegano@friendica.odonian.org
                            schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                            #88

                            @vkc I’m very sorry to hear this. Just this morning I watched your videos on installing Linux on Chromebooks and comparing standard Mint to Debian Mint (loved the visual REM reference, btw). And a few days ago your video about installing Linux on M1 Macs inspired me to do just that.

                            You’re doing great work, and I really appreciate you being on PeerTube. Thanks much!

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                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                              lexinova@cyberplace.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                              lexinova@cyberplace.socialL This user is from outside of this forum
                              lexinova@cyberplace.social
                              schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                              #89

                              @vkc had some best way not engage ignore block report.

                              if you engage, you already lost.

                              1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                              0
                              • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

                                @RegGuy
                                At risk of flooding out Veronica's voice here (a real risk and also sexism), yeah, the overt "hey you b*tch" stuff is easy to spot.
                                More difficult is the coded stuff. Using innocent words to highlight "feminine" vs "masculine" aspects
                                Even more difficult is noticing undue focus, undue exclusion, and seemingly automatic assumptions that a woman should be more caring or gentle, or be the default peacemaker, etc.

                                It takes a lot of work, persistence, and attention

                                @bob @vkc

                                bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                                bob@beamship.mpaq.org
                                schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                #90

                                @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

                                I do a lot of coding for the MPAQ network. Sitting here working on other things and wondering if i could build a database/site to collect names@instances that someone sends...

                                mloxton@med-mastodon.comM 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                                0
                                • bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB bob@beamship.mpaq.org

                                  @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

                                  I do a lot of coding for the MPAQ network. Sitting here working on other things and wondering if i could build a database/site to collect names@instances that someone sends...

                                  mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                  mloxton@med-mastodon.com
                                  schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                  #91

                                  @bob
                                  There is something like that afaik
                                  Not sure if it wound up as an app, but women were circulating a blocklist of known gremlins

                                  @RegGuy @vkc

                                  bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB azurekingfisher@mastodon.artA 2 Antworten Letzte Antwort
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                                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                    coriopsicologia@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    coriopsicologia@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    coriopsicologia@mastodon.social
                                    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                    #92

                                    @vkc

                                    I just can send you hugs, and apple pies.

                                    1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                                    0
                                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                      valen1@mstdn.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
                                      valen1@mstdn.socialV This user is from outside of this forum
                                      valen1@mstdn.social
                                      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                      #93

                                      @vkc Real men understand what consent means. Real men don't treat women like garbage. Real men fight that shit.

                                      Be a real man, not garbage who make women uncomfortable to be who they are.

                                      #FightThatShit

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                                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                        64bithero@mstdn.games6 This user is from outside of this forum
                                        64bithero@mstdn.games6 This user is from outside of this forum
                                        64bithero@mstdn.games
                                        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                        #94

                                        @vkc for anyone openly harassing someone on the Fediverse please leave and never come back.

                                        Sorry to hear what you are dealing with

                                        1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                          Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                          europlus@social.europlus.zoneE This user is from outside of this forum
                                          europlus@social.europlus.zoneE This user is from outside of this forum
                                          europlus@social.europlus.zone
                                          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                          #95

                                          @vkc I’m sorry the grubs are still around 😞

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