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  3. I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

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  • mcneely@indieweb.socialM mcneely@indieweb.social

    @vkc do you think this is unique to the Fediverse or does all social media suck ass over a certain follower threshold? I see people with "large" accounts and from the way they talk it seems clear they experience social media differently than most people

    vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
    vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
    vkc@linuxmom.net
    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
    #10

    @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

    mcneely@indieweb.socialM void@social.voidkvlt.euV shadow_glider@equestria.socialS furby@towns.gayF 4 Antworten Letzte Antwort
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    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

      It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

      I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

      Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

      hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
      hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
      hunterz@mastodon.sdf.org
      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
      #11

      @vkc I do not consent to your harassers being gatekeepers of who belongs here. You belong here. You make this place better.

      hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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      • bytebro@mastodonapp.ukB bytebro@mastodonapp.uk

        @vkc

        I don't know. I just block the obvious twats, and mute the remaining annoying ones. We all deal with this shit differently!

        vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
        vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
        vkc@linuxmom.net
        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
        #12

        @bytebro oh my god you missed the point 10000%

        bytebro@mastodonapp.ukB 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

          @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

          mcneely@indieweb.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
          mcneely@indieweb.socialM This user is from outside of this forum
          mcneely@indieweb.social
          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
          #13

          @vkc ohhh yes I wasnt even thinking about that. I always think of this as "dark matter harassment" since it's not always visible to bystanders. I definitely think that's got to be one of the worst uniquely bad things about here

          vkc@linuxmom.netV 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            @bytebro oh my god you missed the point 10000%

            bytebro@mastodonapp.ukB This user is from outside of this forum
            bytebro@mastodonapp.ukB This user is from outside of this forum
            bytebro@mastodonapp.uk
            schrieb zuletzt editiert von
            #14

            @vkc

            OK, sorry. It's a special talent of mine.
            My only possible excuse is that as an ASD person I tend to take things a bit literally.

            Obvs, no irritation or offense intended.

            1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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            • mcneely@indieweb.socialM mcneely@indieweb.social

              @vkc ohhh yes I wasnt even thinking about that. I always think of this as "dark matter harassment" since it's not always visible to bystanders. I definitely think that's got to be one of the worst uniquely bad things about here

              vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
              vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
              vkc@linuxmom.net
              schrieb zuletzt editiert von
              #15

              @McNeely it's super disorienting once you get to a certain threshold of followers and your notifications don't match anyone else's experience in the slightest.

              1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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              • hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH hunterz@mastodon.sdf.org

                @vkc I do not consent to your harassers being gatekeepers of who belongs here. You belong here. You make this place better.

                hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
                hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH This user is from outside of this forum
                hunterz@mastodon.sdf.org
                schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                #16

                @vkc wow, posting that got me followed by someone from a "skinhead" instance. That's an immediate instance block from me.

                vkc@linuxmom.netV 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                • hunterz@mastodon.sdf.orgH hunterz@mastodon.sdf.org

                  @vkc wow, posting that got me followed by someone from a "skinhead" instance. That's an immediate instance block from me.

                  vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
                  vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
                  vkc@linuxmom.net
                  schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                  #17

                  @HunterZ make sure to share it with your mods

                  1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                    I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                    It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                    I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                    Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                    khleedril@cyberplace.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                    khleedril@cyberplace.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
                    khleedril@cyberplace.social
                    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                    #18

                    @vkc Really sorry to hear that. My experience here is great, and you make it better. Don't know what to say. 😞

                    1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                      It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                      I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                      Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                      stefan@stefanbohacek.onlineS This user is from outside of this forum
                      stefan@stefanbohacek.onlineS This user is from outside of this forum
                      stefan@stefanbohacek.online
                      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                      #19

                      @vkc Very sorry you have to put up with all this, and thank you for speaking up about it.

                      Truly, truly disappointed in the community here, and the lack of tools for people to defend themselves.

                      1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                        When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.

                        I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.

                        And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.

                        D This user is from outside of this forum
                        D This user is from outside of this forum
                        draeand@social.the-gdn.net
                        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                        #20

                        @vkc I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. This is reprehensible and is something I would expect on corporate-owned social media and not on fedi.

                        1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                          I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                          It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                          I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                          Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                          octojon@merveilles.townO This user is from outside of this forum
                          octojon@merveilles.townO This user is from outside of this forum
                          octojon@merveilles.town
                          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                          #21

                          @vkc thank you for all your clarifying and urgent work communicating about these awful circumstances. I really appreciate your candor, especially bc I know it comes at a great personal toll. I normally avoid commenting on your posts bc I don't want to be mistaken for a pompous asshole but I really want to express my bottomless gratitude for you and your work today (acknowledging that good vibes aren't solutions--theyre just what I can give right now). Thank you for everything.

                          1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                            I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                            It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                            I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                            Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                            rosano@mastodon.onlineR This user is from outside of this forum
                            rosano@mastodon.onlineR This user is from outside of this forum
                            rosano@mastodon.online
                            schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                            #22

                            @vkc wishing you a better experience than this 🙏🏽☀️ i think we have to make space for ourselves and our own way to do things to avoid getting swallowed by the defaults

                            1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                              I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                              alisynthesis@io.waxandleather.comA This user is from outside of this forum
                              alisynthesis@io.waxandleather.comA This user is from outside of this forum
                              alisynthesis@io.waxandleather.com
                              schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                              #23

                              @vkc i've had a couple of posts blow up to genuinely large levels and have seen what you mean with the vile stuff. Makes me wonder if social media is a good idea at all.

                              1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                                I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                                sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                sashin@veganism.social
                                schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                #24

                                @vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?

                                vkc@linuxmom.netV 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                                • sashin@veganism.socialS sashin@veganism.social

                                  @vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?

                                  vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
                                  vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
                                  vkc@linuxmom.net
                                  schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                  #25

                                  @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                                  sashin@veganism.socialS bredroll@mas.toB toadjaune@hostux.socialT 3 Antworten Letzte Antwort
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                                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                    @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                                    sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    sashin@veganism.social
                                    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                    #26

                                    @vkc I'm sorry you have to go through that.

                                    1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                      What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                                      I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                                      shadowwwind@fosstodon.orgS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      shadowwwind@fosstodon.orgS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      shadowwwind@fosstodon.org
                                      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                      #27

                                      @vkc hey, thank you for posting here, I rediscovered your channel because of your Mastodon posts.

                                      For me the moderation is a big reason to be on a managed instance

                                      Question I had but reading your other comments suggests the answer ;D :
                                      One thing I wondered, did your mastodon experience change when you moved from a moderated instance to your own?

                                      1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                        @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

                                        void@social.voidkvlt.euV This user is from outside of this forum
                                        void@social.voidkvlt.euV This user is from outside of this forum
                                        void@social.voidkvlt.eu
                                        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                        #28

                                        @vkc @McNeely 100% accurate. I run a micro-instance that's likely to upset people and attract bother, and I have to set aside time to expose myself to some genuinely grotesque and upsetting stuff in order to keep on top of the servers I need to block, and we get far fewer eyeballs and interaction on us than Victoria.

                                        1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                                          I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                                          moerje@piaille.frM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          moerje@piaille.frM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          moerje@piaille.fr
                                          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                          #29

                                          @vkc sorry about all that crap. Some people are using their anonymity to reveal their real nature that can be awful. And because they may read you every day, they think they know you intimately so they suppose they're allowed to tell you anything they want. That's difficult to ignore these haters when you're their target. I hope you'll be able to get over it.

                                          1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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