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  3. I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

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  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

    I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

    It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

    I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

    Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

    khleedril@cyberplace.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
    khleedril@cyberplace.socialK This user is from outside of this forum
    khleedril@cyberplace.social
    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
    #18

    @vkc Really sorry to hear that. My experience here is great, and you make it better. Don't know what to say. 😞

    1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

      It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

      I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

      Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

      stefan@stefanbohacek.onlineS This user is from outside of this forum
      stefan@stefanbohacek.onlineS This user is from outside of this forum
      stefan@stefanbohacek.online
      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
      #19

      @vkc Very sorry you have to put up with all this, and thank you for speaking up about it.

      Truly, truly disappointed in the community here, and the lack of tools for people to defend themselves.

      1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

        When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.

        I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.

        And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.

        D This user is from outside of this forum
        D This user is from outside of this forum
        draeand@social.the-gdn.net
        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
        #20

        @vkc I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. This is reprehensible and is something I would expect on corporate-owned social media and not on fedi.

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        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

          I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

          It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

          I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

          Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

          octojon@merveilles.townO This user is from outside of this forum
          octojon@merveilles.townO This user is from outside of this forum
          octojon@merveilles.town
          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
          #21

          @vkc thank you for all your clarifying and urgent work communicating about these awful circumstances. I really appreciate your candor, especially bc I know it comes at a great personal toll. I normally avoid commenting on your posts bc I don't want to be mistaken for a pompous asshole but I really want to express my bottomless gratitude for you and your work today (acknowledging that good vibes aren't solutions--theyre just what I can give right now). Thank you for everything.

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          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

            It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

            I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

            Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

            rosano@mastodon.onlineR This user is from outside of this forum
            rosano@mastodon.onlineR This user is from outside of this forum
            rosano@mastodon.online
            schrieb zuletzt editiert von
            #22

            @vkc wishing you a better experience than this 🙏🏽☀️ i think we have to make space for ourselves and our own way to do things to avoid getting swallowed by the defaults

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            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

              What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

              I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

              alisynthesis@io.waxandleather.comA This user is from outside of this forum
              alisynthesis@io.waxandleather.comA This user is from outside of this forum
              alisynthesis@io.waxandleather.com
              schrieb zuletzt editiert von
              #23

              @vkc i've had a couple of posts blow up to genuinely large levels and have seen what you mean with the vile stuff. Makes me wonder if social media is a good idea at all.

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              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                sashin@veganism.social
                schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                #24

                @vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?

                vkc@linuxmom.netV 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                • sashin@veganism.socialS sashin@veganism.social

                  @vkc How would you feel about sharing the really bad stuff too but with clear content warnings?

                  vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
                  vkc@linuxmom.netV This user is from outside of this forum
                  vkc@linuxmom.net
                  schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                  #25

                  @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                  sashin@veganism.socialS bredroll@mas.toB toadjaune@hostux.socialT 3 Antworten Letzte Antwort
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                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                    @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                    sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                    sashin@veganism.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                    sashin@veganism.social
                    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                    #26

                    @vkc I'm sorry you have to go through that.

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                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                      I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                      shadowwwind@fosstodon.orgS This user is from outside of this forum
                      shadowwwind@fosstodon.orgS This user is from outside of this forum
                      shadowwwind@fosstodon.org
                      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                      #27

                      @vkc hey, thank you for posting here, I rediscovered your channel because of your Mastodon posts.

                      For me the moderation is a big reason to be on a managed instance

                      Question I had but reading your other comments suggests the answer ;D :
                      One thing I wondered, did your mastodon experience change when you moved from a moderated instance to your own?

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                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                        @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

                        void@social.voidkvlt.euV This user is from outside of this forum
                        void@social.voidkvlt.euV This user is from outside of this forum
                        void@social.voidkvlt.eu
                        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                        #28

                        @vkc @McNeely 100% accurate. I run a micro-instance that's likely to upset people and attract bother, and I have to set aside time to expose myself to some genuinely grotesque and upsetting stuff in order to keep on top of the servers I need to block, and we get far fewer eyeballs and interaction on us than Victoria.

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                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                          What I've shared today is just *annoying*. It isn't the level of malevolence that I've seen.

                          I've had stuff sent my way that I have nightmares about. I won't share that crap. But annoying stuff? I'm not holding that back anymore- you-all are getting called out.

                          moerje@piaille.frM This user is from outside of this forum
                          moerje@piaille.frM This user is from outside of this forum
                          moerje@piaille.fr
                          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                          #29

                          @vkc sorry about all that crap. Some people are using their anonymity to reveal their real nature that can be awful. And because they may read you every day, they think they know you intimately so they suppose they're allowed to tell you anything they want. That's difficult to ignore these haters when you're their target. I hope you'll be able to get over it.

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                          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                            I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                            It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                            I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                            Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                            claus@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                            claus@hachyderm.ioC This user is from outside of this forum
                            claus@hachyderm.io
                            schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                            #30

                            @vkc I'm sorry about how Fedi is treating you. I sometimes forget that my own Fedi bubble is benign not because Fedi as a whole is benign, but because I put in the effort to aggressively block any content I don't like, *and* I don't have a visible enough presence that would encourage the undesirables to circumvent my block list.

                            Social media can be garbage, and if you do need a break I will be sad because I enjoy your content, but please do put your own mental health first if you need to.

                            Best wishes...

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                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                              It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                              I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                              Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                              threedollarchickenparm@mstdn.caT This user is from outside of this forum
                              threedollarchickenparm@mstdn.caT This user is from outside of this forum
                              threedollarchickenparm@mstdn.ca
                              schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                              #31

                              @vkc Thanks for speaking openly about this, Veronica. I cannot fully understand your situation, but I can relate to being harassed in an invisible way and I wouldn't wish that on anyone else. I wouldn't want to see you leave Fedi, but I also wouldn't blame you if you did.

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                              • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                When people say "Veronica loves the Fediverse", they remove my agency from this place. I'm a character. They're the narrator. I don't like that.

                                I think for a lot of folks, Fedi is sweet. It's quiet. It's slow. But for many, many, many of us, it's this slow-rolling insanity machine where you see the WORST THINGS and nobody else does.

                                And to be frank and clear, I'm just talking about things from my white US perspective. I don't even get the worst of it, and I recognize that.

                                dlaroe@fosstodon.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
                                dlaroe@fosstodon.orgD This user is from outside of this forum
                                dlaroe@fosstodon.org
                                schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                #32

                                @vkc

                                You are surely frank and clear.

                                You sharing stuff like this is really valuable to me as a white, cisgendered, heterosexual, male, with a low volume account. My privileges stack in such a way that I see none of the bad actor interactions you do.

                                Thank you for sharing what those who aren't even the worst of us in the Fediverse are doing so we all can know at least that much.

                                1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                  @McNeely I think it's unique to decentralization. If your instance blocked a baddie before they post in my replies, you don't see it and I do. In centralized social media, a mass of reports is enough to ban an account and get their posts mass-deleted. That just can't happen here.

                                  shadow_glider@equestria.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  shadow_glider@equestria.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  shadow_glider@equestria.social
                                  schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                  #33

                                  @vkc @McNeely Perhaps reports could be federated and an instance can set it so that if an account has over a certain amount of reports posts/replies have to be manually approved?

                                  Not sure how much this would help but it feels like it could help somewhat, obvs if this is a bad idea please tell me

                                  bredroll@mas.toB 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                    I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                    It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                    I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                    Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                    classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    classwario@mastodon.socialC This user is from outside of this forum
                                    classwario@mastodon.social
                                    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                    #34

                                    @vkc This platform needs more editing (and anger) aimed at it. This is my third account because I get frustrated at what it is (then come back here for what it should be).

                                    1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                      @sashin I get things that are illegal if I retransmit them

                                      bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                                      bredroll@mas.to
                                      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                      #35

                                      @vkc @sashin i wonder if fedi has a community block list feature

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                                      0
                                      • shadow_glider@equestria.socialS shadow_glider@equestria.social

                                        @vkc @McNeely Perhaps reports could be federated and an instance can set it so that if an account has over a certain amount of reports posts/replies have to be manually approved?

                                        Not sure how much this would help but it feels like it could help somewhat, obvs if this is a bad idea please tell me

                                        bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        bredroll@mas.toB This user is from outside of this forum
                                        bredroll@mas.to
                                        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                        #36

                                        @Shadow_Glider @vkc @McNeely i do wonder if its more costly to manage federated or honepot blocking than the bad actors just creating more accounts

                                        1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                                        • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                          I'm talking about all of the misogyny crap today because folks keep speaking for me and saying I'm one of Fedi's big boosters.

                                          It's true, I do prefer this place to corporate driven social media. But I want to be abundantly clear, I don't feel welcome here. Not really.

                                          I get garbage sent my way that would give you therapy bills. And largely, as a quirk of decentralization, most of you won't ever see it.

                                          Fedi is like being gaslit, every time I use it. And I need to flipping say that.

                                          borisschapira@framapiaf.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          borisschapira@framapiaf.orgB This user is from outside of this forum
                                          borisschapira@framapiaf.org
                                          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                          #37

                                          @vkc sorry you have to got through this. Did you notice the content to the server's admin (really asking, not saying you have to)?

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