@vkc @dazo I would suggest starting from not asking her (or the person in a similar position) what to do.
Your question may be in good faith but your putting the burden of finding solutions on her.
This is a culture problem. On the Fedi people tend to not call out wrong behaviours, so those behaviours pile up making this a very unwelcoming place. Sometimes because they can't see the replies (a quirk of federation) sometimes because we just pass by and shrug off. We don't need ai, we need humans caring for each other that understand and act on this issue.
The good news is: we can do something now, without waiting for fancy solutions. Start to call out behaviours that are wrong. Don't pass by hoping someone else or something else will fix it. There is for sure an area where more tooling is needed (es reply control) but tooling will not address the culture issue.