you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
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I stood there, half-blind, lungs on fire, thinking:
We just got tear-gassed over a dildo.
Not a brick. Not a Molotov. Not a weapon.
A rubber dick.
That is how fragile federal masculinity is in 2026.
Hunter S. is smiling down from whatever opium laced reality he finds himself in. This is some top tier gonzo reporting.
Part of the hate by zeta males against lesbians was the incomprehensibilty of being replaced by a dildo (even though dildo may not be a part of the repertoire).
This is the same, these zeta males are threatened by a piece of plastic
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn found the whole thing here, with photos: https://open.substack.com/pub/closertotheedge/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1dsqn
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn Oh. My. God. That was incredible.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
I blame Josie Butler for the advent of the #DildoDistributionDelegation.
And by blame I mean very honourably mention.
The #BioticBakingBrigade is also worthy of an honourable mention.
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Part of the hate by zeta males against lesbians was the incomprehensibilty of being replaced by a dildo (even though dildo may not be a part of the repertoire).
This is the same, these zeta males are threatened by a piece of plastic
@n_dimension @MissConstrue @susankayequinn well, duh. It's much easier to retrofit a dick than a pleasant personality
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn lol that was so good, writing is 🧑
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn Yes, you must. It's hilarious.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn Target had the Panasonic vibrator on sale! It's the best place for shoplifting. hohoho
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn o kay.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn lol. Amazing photos.
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"While we didn’t shut down ICE that night, we did show that their power collapses the moment it’s confronted with absurdity.
We proved that you can bring a trillion-dollar security apparatus to its knees with one well-aimed rubber cock.
...
You can’t baton your way out of satire. You can’t gas a punchline. And you absolutely cannot maintain authority while tear-gassing people over a rubber dick."https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@Plumbert @susankayequinn Flow my tears, the policeman said
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@susankayequinn @Cadbury_Moose
Also, remember a few years back when the Bundy gang took over the national wildlife refuge in Oregon? They put out videos asking supporters to send them snacks and people sent them bags of dildos instead. Then they were stupid enough to take the bait and film themselves opening up boxes of dildos complaining about it. Which, of course, led to more people sending more dildos.
I think "dildos as a political weapon" has not been explored sufficiently.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn Fucking Heroic
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
-
you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
@susankayequinn That writing.
"The first dildo flew through the air like a rubber prophecy and skidded to a stop directly at the boots of a state trooper."
Amazing.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
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@susankayequinn @brunogirin I'm sad to say that this reads like classic ChatGPT in sentence structure
@vaurora It's called prose, and ChatGPT wishes.
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you *must* read the Battle of the Dildo at the Minneapolis Graduate Hotel (where ICE is lodging):
"The revolution did not arrive with speeches, pamphlets, or a carefully moderated Zoom call about optics. It arrived in a cardboard box full of clearance-bin dildos, under purple neon light."
one of the most beautiful things I've ever read
https://www.closertotheedge.net/p/the-dildo-distribution-delegation
That has made my day.
Sometimes Masto-donner kebabs says 'must read'. I did. Kittens with dildos. The plan is diversifying...
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@susankayequinn Smitten Kitten is such a good shop too
@mycrowgirl @susankayequinn one of the sysadmins here has a problem with dildos - I do not share his concern.
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