What the actual fuck.
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
“Orbital data centers are the most efficient way to meet the accelerating demand for AI computing power,”
Demand isn't accelerating, you're forcing it on everyone you assholes!! We can't NOT use it when you make it an integral part of every product you sell ASSHOLES!
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets my condolences. The moment I saw this story, my thoughts were with you.
-
The sunrise/sunset line is the terminator. So, Sun-synchronous (i.e., passes every day at the same local solar time) LEO on the plane of the terminator.
Whatever it's called, it's a horrible idea. Want a ringed planet, you know where to find it. One of these days they will come up with a clever (?) plan to dismantle the Moon to give old Earth a ring too... until the rocks start colliding with each other and decaying into our atmosphere.
-
“Orbital data centers are the most efficient way to meet the accelerating demand for AI computing power,”
Demand isn't accelerating, you're forcing it on everyone you assholes!! We can't NOT use it when you make it an integral part of every product you sell ASSHOLES!
@mycotropic @sundogplanets and orbital days centers are a horrible idea
-
"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"
THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD
@sundogplanets
The Kardashev "levels" are pure fantasy, not even good SF. -
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets I am fine with this, not because I am happy with having our eternal view of the heavens f*cked up by stinking billionaires and impotent regulation, but because this situation is unmanageable from a physics and mechanics perspective. If all the operators in this sector do this then when 1 sat fails its going to be a big issue. It will make orbital space unaccessible which to me is better as it forces us to show respect and consideration!
-
I feel like this is a good time for everyone to go read "More Everything Forever" by @adambecker.bsky.social because that completely unrealistic and awful techbro mentality/religion the only way to explain this FCC filing (and that book explains this very clearly!)
Time to go outside and listen to NZ birds as the sun comes up, because fuck SpaceX.
@sundogplanets I do feel like we're on the path to Neil Stephenson's Seven Eves somehow
-
I feel like this is a good time for everyone to go read "More Everything Forever" by @adambecker.bsky.social because that completely unrealistic and awful techbro mentality/religion the only way to explain this FCC filing (and that book explains this very clearly!)
Time to go outside and listen to NZ birds as the sun comes up, because fuck SpaceX.
@sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social I have three non-techbro mentality/religion reasons for this:
1) Distract from Tesla's poor earnings
2) Distract from the Epstein files
3) Bezos says he's going to launch zillions of data center satellites so Musk just wants to nab scamee money for it firstBut yeah, also Musk is a moron.
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Skynet
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets That's what everyone in datacenters wants - unfixable latency and multimillion dollar costs to replace equipment..
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Trash filling space with trash.
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Just in case anyone needs to see it: this can't work with today's or even near-future technology.
https://pivot-to-ai.com/2025/12/01/ai-data-centres-in-space-why-dcs-in-space-cant-work
-
@nev Or when you're reading science fiction which was intended to be a warning, and treating it as something that should be done because it's Cool
!"I have read Do Not Build The Torment Nexus and decided to dedicate the rest of my life to ensuring that we *never* have a Torment Nexus" said no billionaire ever.
@mkj @sundogplanets god knows the Western Canon
is stodgy and Eurocentric and male-centric and all that, but like, Greek legends and the Bible and such give you the 101 versions that science fiction writers are adapting/riffing on/inspired by. what i'm trying to say is, even the most basic bitch humanities education could have helped these people -
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
"From the vanity of the tech-bros who've read science-fiction but not understood it, O Lord, deliver us."
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets This is just a VC scam.
1. The timeline on launching a million satellites, even "small" ones is decades.2. Near vacuum isn't a magical environment for heat management.
3. Power from where exactly? And don't say sunlight cause the amount of capture panels needed would be an order of magnitude more material to power a data center.
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets Bye, nice telescope views, etc. Hello, Kessler syndrome.
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
I noticed in the credits of re-watching the 4K remastering of Hard Boiled that there was some security company called Starlink, decades ago. fElon Musk couldn't even pick a name that hadn't already been used before.
IMHO, it would probably be cheaper to run fiber to the home, even in the most remote rural areas, than to pollute our skies with satellites for high latency Internet access. But, what do I know? I think last time I checked a 50km spool of single mode fiber could be bought for under $1000.
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
@sundogplanets The night sky will be spectacular for several decades as all the smashed bits fall back to Earth.
-
What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?
Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK
https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push
That would disintegrate into shrapnel in days.
The Kessler syndrome, also known as the Kessler effect,[1][2] collisional cascading, or ablation cascade, is a scenario proposed by NASA scientists Donald J. Kessler and Burton G. Cour-Palais in 1978. It describes a situation in which the density of objects in low Earth orbit (LEO) becomes so high due to space pollution that collisions between these objects cascade, exponentially increasing the amount of space debris over time.[3] This proliferation
...collisions would accumulate faster than atmospheric drag could remove them.[4] The Kessler syndrome underscores the critical need for effective space traffic management and collision avoidance strategies to ensure the long-term viability of space exploration and use.
