Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

@vkc

So sorry, you had to go through this!

Just because we're in "the good place", we shouldn't assume that misogyny, racism and other ugly stuff doesn't find its way here.

It definitely exists, and it often hides behind false solidarity ("They're a good one, look at all the good they wrote and did. You misunderstood and are just overreacting.")

Awareness is the first step.

Abuse has to fought everywhere!

@sri @mloxton @RegGuy @vkc

At the same time. Ive met people whl felt they were wronged...

Not saying id not believe them but keeping that in mind...

@vkc This is such a frustratingly common experience. I’m sorry it happened to you.

@vkc I am sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing this experience (when I was young many women stayed silent -- I couldn't back them up when I didn't know what was going on and it weighs on me). I come to fedi/masto to get away from the bullshit, and I'm so sorry to know it is here too. I do my part to call out abuse when I see/hear it around me. I just want to say being dragged into a fight for existing is fucking awful, and you're not alone in being pissed-off. Fuck those assholes.

@NJWookie @vkc

Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?

@MxVerda @eq @vkc

i'm sort of a... i will cut them, just point me to whom, type of person. and then secondly, fuck this system burn it down. and then thirdly, let me help in providing examples of an alternate system that is more just and serves humanity better.

@vkc @eq Even if that were an option, we are frequently talking about attention that goes far beyond human-scale. Individuals are not equipped to process let alone cope with the volume of negative attention that someone can be subjected to the moment that some internet angrymans decide to make it a part of their lifestyle to make someone else's life unpleasant.

This is a social problem with communal implications, not an individual problem that someone should be able to traverse without support.

@StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.

If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.

@vkc fwiw you’re a great presence online and I will be checking out peertube more largely because you’re putting content on there

@vkc@linuxmom.net yeah... that probably includes putting enough warnings on all those "hey it's easy to selfhost your own instance if you wanna" selling points to make it very clear that, while you can do it, it also means you're signing up to be moderating which instances you federate with on your own

the reason we don't have such warnings already is probably at least in part the fact that cis white fossbros would presumably be much less affected by this (at least, the targeted harassment part of the problem)

@vkc
gah!!! so sorry to hear that.

@moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.

https://youtu.be/P55t6eryY3g

@haltroy @vkc

@vkc this place is, sadly, super fucking misogynist as a whole. I'm sorry you've received some of the worst of it ️

@vkc I am so sorry that you had to deal with this.

@alex02 @vkc you may, or may not, have a point about some people being hostile to Gen Z

I'm not the right person to comment on that because I've had no experience of it one way or the other but hijacking a thread about sexual harrasment for your own issues and being hostile when it's pointed out you are off topic is frankly, obnoxious in itself

Then there is the fact you come here complaining about "whiney bitches" on this thread of all things

Complete failure to read the room right there

@gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.

@StingrayBadger @vkc Perhaps. Blocking just takes a bad actor and turns them towards their next target. Fighting occupies the bad actor and drowns them out.

@Orb2069
Hell yes! I'm already a patron of that channel.
@haltroy @vkc

@vkc I had been tracking out what I considered to be sexually harassment or predatory behaviour happening on my fedi buddle recently, many times happening in a somewhat veiled manner.

My conclusion is that people actually protect each other, normalise those behaviours amongst communities. Some people's entire m.o. is to be thirsting over several (often cis) women in a community.

Even worst, in environments where people will discuss sexual content, the lines blur and discomfort becomes expected.

Am in solidarity with you and also hope people who are currently enabling this behaviour take action instead of leaving women to fight and treat these situations as isolated occurrences and not an aspect of the culture.

@NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc I was not telling that to / about you.

I was making the point that what it needs to change is the men all across the board, and make that fight a natural reflex in any environment, so that it doesn't require a hashtag with notifications for a bunch of select miniroty, but just some, **any** decent human being walking by.