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  3. Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

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  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

    regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
    regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
    regguy@mstdn.social
    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
    #62

    @vkc Those of us who wouldn't see it much because it isn't directed at us and may never pass through our feed. I guess the best thing is to screenshot the harassment and post it for all to see so we can harass the harasser.

    1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

      @eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?

      I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."

      It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.

      matildalove@wetdry.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
      matildalove@wetdry.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
      matildalove@wetdry.world
      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
      #63

      @vkc @eq

      hey men, don't let the idiots get me

      1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
      0
      • aprazeth@mstdn.socialA aprazeth@mstdn.social

        @alice @vkc

        And that also means at places and times where it is just men around.

        Especially then.

        Silence then is implied endorsement later.

        moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
        moondog548@nerdculture.deM This user is from outside of this forum
        moondog548@nerdculture.de
        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
        #64

        @Aprazeth
        This is a huge opportunity. We need to learn *and teach eachother* how to call our brothers in when they're out of line.

        We need to know what to do and make it a reflex!
        @alice @vkc

        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA aprazeth@mstdn.socialA 2 Antworten Letzte Antwort
        0
        • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

          @bob

          I think the "I" in that reply needs to be "you" and "me" for that to work.
          If it is just the woman doing the moderation, then those guys just keep doing it, and it becomes "women's work".

          @vkc

          regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
          regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
          regguy@mstdn.social
          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
          #65

          @mloxton Matthew, I agree with you, we need to deal with it. But to be quite frank, I rarely see it. Not that I'm not looking, rather it's ususally beyond what is in my feed, and therefore I can't respond. I suggest we broadcast, or perhaps create a list that can be used and these women can PM that list with what's happening. I'd be happy to help, but I don't see it, thus I can't help. @bob @vkc

          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
          0
          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

            carloshr@lile.clC This user is from outside of this forum
            carloshr@lile.clC This user is from outside of this forum
            carloshr@lile.cl
            schrieb zuletzt editiert von
            #66

            @vkc @Nickiquote fuck that guys! I consider necessary to expose them but even more important is ton promote a culture where that behaviour is never accepted.

            1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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            • semitones@tiny.tilde.websiteS semitones@tiny.tilde.website

              @alice I think a lot of guys could also benefit from reading your "sucker punch" post about open registration and moderation. It def opened my eyes to how others are treated on here and elsewhere...

              https://lgbtqia.space/@alice/115499829288185416

              @vkc

              duckwhistle@mastodon.org.ukD This user is from outside of this forum
              duckwhistle@mastodon.org.ukD This user is from outside of this forum
              duckwhistle@mastodon.org.uk
              schrieb zuletzt editiert von
              #67

              @semitones @alice @vkc
              made me take notice too!

              1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
              0
              • regguy@mstdn.socialR regguy@mstdn.social

                @mloxton Matthew, I agree with you, we need to deal with it. But to be quite frank, I rarely see it. Not that I'm not looking, rather it's ususally beyond what is in my feed, and therefore I can't respond. I suggest we broadcast, or perhaps create a list that can be used and these women can PM that list with what's happening. I'd be happy to help, but I don't see it, thus I can't help. @bob @vkc

                mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                mloxton@med-mastodon.com
                schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                #68

                @RegGuy

                I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

                I think three things are going on:
                1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
                2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
                3. I am not in those environments
                @bob @vkc

                regguy@mstdn.socialR sri@mastodon.socialS 2 Antworten Letzte Antwort
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                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                  stux@mstdn.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                  stux@mstdn.socialS This user is from outside of this forum
                  stux@mstdn.social
                  schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                  #69

                  @vkc Very sorry this happened! ❤️

                  Unfort it does matter on what instance one is since the blocklists are tied to instances and not federated

                  There is a very dark corner in the Fedi and those domains should be blocked on instance level by default

                  We started out with a long list, after 6 years its only gotten longer and longer but its needed, very much

                  1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                  0
                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                    troglet@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                    troglet@mastodon.socialT This user is from outside of this forum
                    troglet@mastodon.social
                    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                    #70

                    @vkc Well, that's disappointing. Sorry you had to do that. I do what I can when I see it, but of course I'm only one person.

                    1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                    • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                      Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                      Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                      kimlockhartga@beige.partyK This user is from outside of this forum
                      kimlockhartga@beige.partyK This user is from outside of this forum
                      kimlockhartga@beige.party
                      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                      #71

                      @vkc oh JFC. I am sorry.

                      1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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                      • byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB byrnensorg@mastodon.ie

                        @alice @vkc I have noticed today in multiple threads that there's a lot of anger out there and dare I say it, twittification, it's as if mastodon is morphing before our very eyes.

                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.spaceA This user is from outside of this forum
                        alice@lgbtqia.space
                        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                        #72

                        @byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).

                        Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.

                        @vkc

                        byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                        0
                        • mloxton@med-mastodon.comM mloxton@med-mastodon.com

                          @RegGuy

                          I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.

                          I think three things are going on:
                          1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
                          2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
                          3. I am not in those environments
                          @bob @vkc

                          regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                          regguy@mstdn.socialR This user is from outside of this forum
                          regguy@mstdn.social
                          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                          #73

                          @mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc

                          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                          0
                          • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                            Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                            Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                            lastrobot@writing.exchangeL This user is from outside of this forum
                            lastrobot@writing.exchangeL This user is from outside of this forum
                            lastrobot@writing.exchange
                            schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                            #74

                            @vkc Very sorry to hear you are experiencing this. It's not ok. 🌞

                            1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                            0
                            • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                              Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                              Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                              scaro@mamot.frS This user is from outside of this forum
                              scaro@mamot.frS This user is from outside of this forum
                              scaro@mamot.fr
                              schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                              #75

                              @vkc +1000000

                              1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                              0
                              • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                @byrnensorg there's good reason for a lot of anger at some things. The problems have always been here too, but due to active moderation and the nature of federation, it can be less visible (except to the people who get sucker-punched).

                                Also, the only way we keep Fedi from becoming Twitter is by believing the victims instead of the trolls.

                                @vkc

                                byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                                byrnensorg@mastodon.ieB This user is from outside of this forum
                                byrnensorg@mastodon.ie
                                schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                #76

                                @alice @vkc There was some threads this week that could've benefitted from an angry dome.

                                1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                                0
                                • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                  Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                  Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                  linuxandyarn@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
                                  linuxandyarn@hachyderm.ioL This user is from outside of this forum
                                  linuxandyarn@hachyderm.io
                                  schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                  #77

                                  @vkc Hugs if you want them, a nod if you don't. Sorry you had to endure that bullshit again.

                                  1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                                  0
                                  • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                    Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                    Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                    steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                                    steggy@sunny.garden
                                    schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                    #78

                                    @vkc I will never understand why some people just love to be shitheads.

                                    1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                                    0
                                    • alice@lgbtqia.spaceA alice@lgbtqia.space

                                      @semitones thanks for bringing that up 🩷 seems like a good time to boost that post again.

                                      @vkc

                                      steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      steggy@sunny.gardenS This user is from outside of this forum
                                      steggy@sunny.garden
                                      schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                      #79

                                      @alice @semitones @vkc I think that is the post I saw that made me want to follow you, Alice!

                                      1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                                      0
                                      • vkc@linuxmom.netV vkc@linuxmom.net

                                        Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.

                                        Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.

                                        gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                        gavinisdie@masto.aiG This user is from outside of this forum
                                        gavinisdie@masto.ai
                                        schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                        #80

                                        @vkc is it coming from the same server? If so, i'd make a #fediblock post

                                        1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
                                        0
                                        • regguy@mstdn.socialR regguy@mstdn.social

                                          @mloxton There is an excellent book, "How to Be an Antiracist," by Ibram X. Kendi. Sexism has become a more difficult thing, as in some cases, it's in the eye of the recipient. I take anything like a slight only because they are the opposite sex to be sexism; that goes both ways. I think there is a lot of overt sexism that's easy to spot. If someone is harassing another, that's not necessarily sexism, but certainly harassment, and occurs more toward women than men, to be sure. @bob @vkc

                                          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mloxton@med-mastodon.comM This user is from outside of this forum
                                          mloxton@med-mastodon.com
                                          schrieb zuletzt editiert von
                                          #81

                                          @RegGuy
                                          At risk of flooding out Veronica's voice here (a real risk and also sexism), yeah, the overt "hey you b*tch" stuff is easy to spot.
                                          More difficult is the coded stuff. Using innocent words to highlight "feminine" vs "masculine" aspects
                                          Even more difficult is noticing undue focus, undue exclusion, and seemingly automatic assumptions that a woman should be more caring or gentle, or be the default peacemaker, etc.

                                          It takes a lot of work, persistence, and attention

                                          @bob @vkc

                                          bob@beamship.mpaq.orgB 1 Antwort Letzte Antwort
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